Daniel Applegate from Compass Counseling and Consulting stops by the Morning Show for this week’s Motivational Monday is discussing getting motivated for large life transitions.
Marriage, divorce, child birth, death of a loved one, starting or ending a job, starting college, ending college, moving, dating and breaking up…all of these things can be scary at the start, and with good reason! It’s the fear of the unknown!
Beginnings are scary because there are too many variables to gauge what success would look like. I’ve said before that we are the ones who get in our own way more than anybody—with the things we tell ourselves, the irrational fears we have—and so there is this thing called “Imposter Syndrome,” and it exists on every level and for everyone—whether a politician, a musician, a professor, a student, and even a single person going into a marriage.
That’s a good point, and, even justified endings can be scary because, once again, of the unknown. Bad jobs, bad relationships, bad habits—logically we know that we need to get a new job, a better relationship, or to give up a bad habit. Emotionally, though, these things that we complain about and allow to stress us out, even at their worst, they become comfortable. The saying, “the devil you know” is accurate. Whether it’s depression, anxiety, or anything and everything in between, the familiar is often preferred because it is predictable—we learn how to manage these things, and so to shake it all up is scary, even when it is justified.
What do you say to people who are embarking on, or will be embarking on transitions?
Embrace it all! The fear is there for a reason, and it’s really one of the key emotions that remind us that we are alive! That’s the real stuff. A lot of life is hard and painful with occasional moments of incredible joy—pay attention to these feelings!
When embarking on a transition, do as much homework as you can. Whether it’s a new company you’re interviewing for, or a new town you’re moving to, information is key! Ending something will still be sad, and a new start is always going to be a little scary, and that’s ok. They are supposed to be!
Be patient with yourself, and show yourself a little self-compassion, seek counsel from those closest to you and whom you trust, and last and most certainly most important, trust your guy and believe in yourself to make good decisions!
Run your own race! Stay in your lane! We get caught up in comparing ourselves to everyone else, and what we have to what they have. Transitions are hard enough, so wherever possible, have some sense of control. Maintaining your focus on what is most important, whether it be family, works, school, will help you in your transitions, if for no other reason than it provides one place of stability.